I feign surprise when I hear it, but hearing it too many times validates the idea to me. 

I avoid confrontation as much as possible, and flight is my default defense mechanism. I hate to talk about my feelings or a lot of things in general, only when absolutely necessary. Believe it that when I do delve in it might mean I am moving away from you. I have only successfully talked about my feelings once, but that was because I had the intention of disappearing and leaving things behind.

Today, I asked you a favor. I hate having to explain about these things or giving too much details at the risk of losing another friend's confidence.

While questions may be the a good way to come up with answers and to make sense of some things, there are just some things which has to be taken at face value, and that too many questions are not to be asked and/or warranted.

I hope you'd know this post is about you.

I would like to apologize for being such a coward for doing this. For not braving the courage to put your name while I nitpick every single horror in that website of yours. The thing is: I would like to afford you some anonymity. Needless to say, I think I deserve flowers and a drink for doing you a favor.

(1) Just because you can make a website doesn't mean that you should start one. There are guidelines for tact, intelligence and poise which your website seem to be in short of supply of. Glitters and blinking graphics? No. Bright colors such as orange super imposed with the tackiest of graphics? Never ever. A page for your fugly photos? Holy crap, I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Have you never been taught how to be simple and learn how to hold back? Your website looks like there is a clown drunk on Tequila Sunrise who threw up all over the page. Please!

(2) Spell check, grammar check and common sense check. Unlike blogs which allow for more creative expression where people can tYpE LiKe tHiZzz if their intelligence so permits, your website is not. I understand that you have all the poetic license to write all the nonsense you feel like writing, however, there is a very distinct line between formality and shit. Yours seem to be full of the latter instead of the former.

Do you even read what you have written there? Let me start with this:

• Your website is full of cliches. If you do not know what that means, I provided a link for you. Click it.. Oh wow, you fell in love. Oh wow, he held your hand and your eyes sparkled like the stars in the night sky. Oh wow, a girl can dream about forever and ever. What irritates me more is that your website seem to be written by highschoolers! MAN! Here I am, all this time, assuming your intelligence. At pinagmamayabang niyo pa yung talino ng sumulat nun? Na magaling siya? Na blah-blah-intelligent-barf-boring. Reading that makes me evaluate what the word INTELLIGENT means. Kasi walang kahit anong bahid ng intelligence yung website. Panay pretense intelligence lang. No wonder people hate you. Ang yabang mo kasi.
• I assume that people in your sector are intelligent. But that? come on! I had always believed that that lawyers, teachers, doctors, engineers, along with other proffessions, are demanded common sense and a decent grasp of the English grammar. I guess I am right never to have assumed that you are intelligent in the first place.
• What were your intentions when you wrote that piece of crap you call the ABOUTYOU section? Get people to start washing their eyes? Evaluate every single testimonial or comment they got within the last two weeks and wonder whether it will warrant such a terrible and tasteless description such as yours?

(3) Ampanget. Wala akong masabi kundi ampanget. I would like to put a screen shot of the said website, however I will refuse to. Anyone who wants to see it, send me a message or leave a comment here and I will hook you up with the link. xoxo

okay, the last aggrotyping entry was brought by the fact that we finally got the domain aliasing working. Which means this blog can now be accessed through

*^(*&T U(T UT&^R YG&* R&^R&^ (that's aggrotyping for Yey, Thank You)

I will try to avoid talking about all of you who had borrowed my attraction, affection and heart. I do not like the idea of not attaching names to the letters I write, considering I forget very easy. Which is why I decided to acquire a new blog via tumblr and write to each one of you there. I won't even hold back some details, in there I could tell you the truth and you do not even have to assume anything. We can never really get too much honesty these days, eh?

Here is for all the remembrances. In no particular order.

Early morning coffee with a friend at Starbucks in Pearl Drive. Too many realizations, but hey, this one is for you.

---

And only because my sister said: Bed Weather: Sleep Together this is a timely poem for today.

Weatherbeaten
Naya Valdellon

By the time you read this, the week-
long typhoon will have moved
north towards the South
China Sea, as the weatherman
had predicted. They never change
course this time of year,
these tropical storms named
after fickle women—like migratory
birds, they never stay long
enough to learn local words
for love, steadfast to their wind-
blown language of rainbursts.

( more? ) You will know,
perhaps, every time you read this,
what it’s like to be a woman
no storm has been named after,
to be unfazed by the forecast
of foul weather, with these words
storming through the lightning-
stricken heart, writing up
a storm to weather your leaving.