(1) Stop reading from this point on or
(2) Help me change my mind.
 

One thing I notice about Aquarius is their need to prove that they are always right, how they are "better than thou", they are also very contrarian and have this need to always have a say on everything. All of them are very dogmatic and have this rigid, quite traditional view on almost everything. (I am not one to say that all Aquarius are like that, only the ones I know)

As of writing, I know 7 Aquarians who I severely detest the guts of. The thing with me and people from this sign, is that I start off pretty warm with them. I begin with a natural affinity and love for them which eventually turns into a severe disgust I lovingly wish them schadenfreude everyday.

1) My father. My father is an Aquarius born on the 12th of February. I actually know two other people born on this day, and I dislike them both. Out of respect for the man, and the fact that it was father's day yesterday, I will not say anything much about my father. Needless to say, he is in this list.

2) Jake Doctor, born on the 7th of February. My relationship with Jake is one which started out of mutual respect. We helped each other out in times of need, I made his Legal Philosophy paper and he stood by me during my mother's stroke. It would have not been so bad had I not been demonized by him because of some things I will not discuss here. After him asking me to continue being friends by exchanging correspondence, he magically disappears on me right after he asked me to help him with a letter he needs for law school. Way to go, asshole.

(1) It was 4am on a February morning. I had promised to kiss him the night before, if he arrived on time to bring me to the bus. We were standing in a doorway, with a coffee cup in hand when the lights went out. His hands found his way to my waist, I tiptoed and leaned forward while he waited for the kiss. I kissed him first.

(2) It was a February night. We were sitting on a park bench, make that the park bench table, while I was drinking a can of four seasons. We were drowning out the sound of kids partying to loud music and celebration by discussing pizza and the flavor onions lend to steak. In the middle of the sentence, I abruptly cut him by stealing that first kiss.

(3) It was a cold March night. We were soused with alcohol when we decided to get up and jog around the area. I was jogging ahead of him, while he was trying his best to catch up. He stopped beside a vehicle trying to catch his breath. He looked up, smiled and said he needed encouragement. I said, "Oh, come on." I jogged a few more steps, turned around, stopped him and I gave him a kiss.

(4) It was a rainy night in August, I made a bet that if he finishes the Rubik's cube in less than ten minutes that I will reward him with a kiss. He did. Standing in that hall, with all the doors of the rooms closed, was where it happened. We were standing, I kissed him first. I remember him trembling and shivering like it was the coldest night of the year. He puts his jacket on and trembled still.

(5) It was a June night. My sister had her boyfriend over and they are sleeping on the bunk below. I was sleeping beside my sister's boyfriend's chaperon. He was whispering random inanities behind me. To get it over and done with and to shut him up, I turned around and gave him a kiss. They had to leave a few minutes later.

(6) We were discussing Facebook and Friendster in his friend's apartment. It was a Monday, a September afternoon. We sat on a mat and played a game of staring at each other, first one to feel uneasy loses. In the middle of staring and staring down, I felt uneasy. I did not let him know. I gave him a kiss instead. I could feel the surprise in his mouth. He kissed back, wide-eyed and smiling. He closed his eyes. I kissed him again and again.

(7) It was a December night. We were meaning to shop for gifts for our friends. In the middle of traffic, I turned towards him, put my elbows on the box near the hand brake and acted charming. He turned to look at me, and I gave him a kiss. I laughed after, an empty laugh, the kind of laugh that lied. He held my hand and asled me why I was laughing. I told him his kiss was electric.

(8) It was one of those humid October nights. We were sitting on the back of a cab, fumbling to get home. I turned towards him, asked if he liked me. He was flushed. I knew he did. Before saying another word, I cupped his face and gave him a kiss.

(9) It was a hot summer night in March. We were sitting on a couch when he had this brilliant idea that you could only tell if you are comfortable with someone if you can stand sitting with this person for ten minutes without saying anything. We decided to try it for ten minutes without making a sound. He sets the timer on his phone for ten minutes. On the 7th minute, I decided to face him and mess up his hair. He looked surprised, smiled and almost made a sound. On the 8th minute, He leans over and kisses me first. The ten minutes was over. I was stunned. I couldn't say anything.

(10) It was the second Saturday of September. We were camped in a friend's house, sharing conversation over two  bottles of tequila. As luck would have it, he was dared to kiss me. Prior to the kiss, while everyone was cheering, I could hear nothing but the flicker of my eyelashes. Understand that this kiss had stood between us for two years: I was impatient. I did not wait for him, so I swooped in over for that first kiss. There was no taste of Tequila in his mouth. I looked for it long and many times after.

 

A: Your ex-lover is dead. Now, let's work on that friendship, I guess it will be better like that. Last night, I realized after a year of being not-together how I have reclaimed myself and is now over you--over US. Thank you. No more bitterness or hanging hopes here.

B: I guess I had been unfair to you, however, I believe my decision to walk away will be the best for you and me and her. You never really got your heart broken.

C: Every time I think about you and me in that car, I feel compelled to take a bath and wash you off of my hair and face. You make me want to erase histories and take out those days out of my life. You need to man-up and grow a pair sometimes, hearts don't get broken unless you gave someone the permission to.

D: I am sorry to say that people like you do not change, I believe that it will be a cycle you will repeat every two years. The cheating on her. I do hope this time, you will have the balls to admit to her what really happens behind close doors. How we stayed up until 4 on your balcony, you were kissing me while she was trying to call.

E: Remember I told you, and your car,  you smell like sugar cookies and nicotine? You do. I now associate sugar cookies to some prelude to a kiss.

F: I liked you that first moment I saw you reading that book in that dimly-lit crowded hall.

G: Get a job and a life.

H: I am sorry I cheated on you. Dissatisfaction might have gotten the best on me. For the most part, I do not think there was a future for us anyway. All we'll ever have is The First Kiss.

I: I remember you trembling in that kitchen when I kissed you that night in Baguio. Save for that, I can not even remember your face anymore.

J: What is your name again? I doubt you even remember mine.

This is the way a heart must be worn on the sleeve: out for all the world to see. Brittle yet hopeful that maybe I will get it right someday. Maybe.

Stalk me via tumblr. You know you want to. 

Dear AR2,

Emotional Masochism works like this you ignored me and I only liked you. It, perhaps, comes with the non-fulfillment and a desire to fulfill--at the very least, because I believe dissatisfaction is what makes affairs and love affairs more interesting. This is how you create want by holding back a smile or a conversation. It is silly how this is the way I sustain this fascination towards you and your great wit and bad hair and bad teeth.

I would like for you to know that I had a dream about you. All I could remember was us running from point A to point B under a deluge. Everything was in technicolor: greens, yellows and red light leaks. And your wrists and your ankles which perhaps is the reason why i am certain it was you I was dreaming of.

I would like you to know that I like you. And that is more than enough. 

DK.